MIND MAZE

“WTF,” Ronit said, as his leg accidently hit something. Usually street light filtered through the curtains which illuminated the room but today the room was in pitch- black. He extended his arm towards the left to switch on the light bulb. “What?” he said as he groped in the dark; failing to find the switch board or the switch.

How come the inverter is down? Ronit thought; nevertheless knowing each and every nook and corner of his house he proceeded towards the kitchen for candles that would help in dissipating the shroud of darkness.

“Ouch!” he said as his forehead hit the wall. Perplexed he tried to calm himself, “I am dreaming” he said. Ronit felt the lump with the tip of his fingers. Can a dream be this real? He thought. He pressed the lump a little harder, “shit” he whispered due to the pain.

Ronit shook himself out of his slumber and alerted his brain; I am certainly not in my home, he deduced. Then came the root question; where the hell am I?

Extending his arms sideways Ronit walked cautiously to his right and moved on till his fingers touched the wall, seven steps, he counted. Then he stepped back to his original position and stopped as he counted till seven. He repeated the process towards his left; here also his fingers touched the wall at the count of seven. Going on with the same exercise firstly towards the front and then backwards, seven steps were the common factor. “I am in a square shaped room” he said.

 Now what, he thought as he traversed through to the events before he went to sleep. Had dinner with my wife Sunila and son Ajay; then watched...

Ronit stopped shot, “where are they?” his mind clicked, “is it a kidnapping?” He looked about the darkened place, “who are you? What you want?” he said in a louder tone. No replay was heard. Ronit tried few more time then stopped and slumped to his knees.

The silence that followed led Ronit back to the moments before he had slept. After consuming their dinner, the three of us sat in front of the television where each one of us jostled for the television space and the channels zapped from news, to star plus daily soap, to chota bhem. Finally the undisputed winner was Ajay as the family laughed along the episode of chota bhem.

Tears rolled down Ronit’s cheeks on the remembrance of the past events. He wasn’t even sure of the time that had elapsed since he had been confined to this godforsaken place.

Ronit took a few breaths and decided to find a way out of this place. With his mind set on the goal he got on to work, it’s a square shaped room, need to find out any opening or doors, any object or anything that may be helpful in getting out of this prison, he deliberated.

Ronit’s face lit up as an idea stuck him and for the next two hours he traversed the wall, the floor and the walls of the room. The diligent inspection only led to disappointment which resulted in his optimism thinning. The walls and the floor felt smooth under his hand, it felt as if he was caressing a mirror.  In desperation he let out an ear splitting cry that tried to dissipate the darkness but that too was engulfed in the blackness. 

Despite the repeated failure he didn’t give up and kept looking for any crevice that may lead to his freedom. The combination of fear and desperation was making him perspire profusely; so he dried his hand on the crease of his jeans and went about searching. 

As he went along Ronit felt a rough edge touching his finger tip. He stopped and pondered on the small spot with his finger. The continuous scratching action of his finger led the cement to fall on the floor. First one finger, then two fingers and then full hand could pass through the opening. It took him two more hours before he could make a hole large enough to pass. With renewed vigour Ronit exited his prison.

“So far so good” a voice said.

Taken aback by the sound he turned in the direction of the noise, “Who is it?” he asked. As Ronit observed the same blackness surrounding him, from one prison to another, he thought.

“It’s me” the voice said.

“Me? Who me?” he said.

The voice remained silent.

“Hey! You there?” he said.

“I am here, alright” the voice said.

Ronit noticed a certain peculiar thing about the sound, “show yourself,” he said.

The voice remained silent again.

 “What kind of sick joke is this?” he said.  With a finger pointed in the direction of the voice, “all I hear is a child’s voice?” he added.

“Sick joke” the voice said and laughed.

“You hear me, let me out, now” he said.

A silence fell, “seriously Ronit, don’t you remember me?” the voice said.

“How do you know my name” he said.

The voice laughed again, “I know a lot more about you” he said.

Ronit couldn’t fathom ‘the who’ and ‘the what’ of it so finally relenting, “please tell me what you want?” he said.

“Ok, let me tell you a story” the voice said.

Cut the crap and come to the point, he wanted to tell the voice but seeing his predicament Ronit decided to play by his rules.

The child’s voice inhaled as old people do on getting tired after exertion, “long long ago their once lived a boy of seven named Manohar Gupta, his friends called him Manu” the voice said.

The name ringed a bell, “Manu, from a village near Samba?” he asked.

“must tell you; your memory is still sharp” the voice said.

“That was twenty years ago” he said as he placed a hand on his forehead, “you can’t be  still a child? Tell me who you really are?” he added.

“Ronit I am the same Manu who used to be your friend” the voice said.

“You are lying, how come you haven’t grown as I have”

“I can be any age you want”

“I don’t believe you, the sound I hear is of you a child, you can’t be that Manu.”

“Ronit, truth won’t change whether you believe it or not.”

“Ok, I believe you, show me your face”

“That I can’t do”

“Let me out of here or I am warning you”

“Ronit, you haven’t changed, still the aggressive type” the voice paused, “I thought life would have taught you a little maturity, but”

“Leave the moral lesson for class.”

“Class” the voice said and exhaled, “do you remember the old times when we used to study, play and have fun together”

“What’s the proof that you truly are Manu?”

“The old fig tree where villagers avoided coming because of the fear of ghost, you used that place to hide your test paper  to escape your father’s thrashing” the voice waited, “want another proof?”

Ronit was caught unaware by the secret revelation, I haven’t revealed it to anyone except Manu, he thought.

“Ok, I agree, I agree” he said pleading with his hands, “let me out” he added.

“You won’t be let off that easily, Ronit you have to do penance for that”

“I will do whatever you say”

After a brief interval, “give back my childhood” the voice said.

“I took no one’s childhood” he said gesturing his innocence.

“Ronit, my Ronit try to recall”

“We used to be such good friends, why you changed? Tell me?”

For the first time Ronit could hear the melancholic in the child’s voice. A tsunami of emotions erupted inside Ronit; it was the one secret that he had guarded throughout his life.

Ronit’s thoughts took him back to the time when he left village and went to live in Jammu as his father got transferred. There he did his schooling and when the time for college came he went to Bangalore to pursue Law. After that he returned to the city and joined Advocate Singh as his associate and learned the ropes. Two years after joining Mr Singh he married Sunila. Life was bliss; he had whatever he had envisioned; a happy marriage and a career that was shaping up nicely. He raised his furrow, although truth be told in all this happiness, in his heart Ronit had imprisoned that incident which brought shame to his soul. He had made a solemn promise to himself on the birth of his son Ajay to let bygones be bygones.

“Where are my wife and son” he said.

“They are safe” the voice said.

“Safe?”

“Your boy at school and wife at home” the voice said. A silence followed, “I have nothing against them; it’s only you that I want?” the voice added.

Delight and fear gripped him; delight on the news that his family was safe and fear for his own life. Calming himself, “Please forgive me” he said.

The voice remained quite.

“I am sorry for what all I have done” he said.

The voice let out breath with a sigh which followed by a muzzled weeping.

“I know what I did was wrong, always knew that. But I still did it, please forgive me”

The weeping continued.

“Please tell me, how I can make it up to you?”

The voice calmed, “I forgive you” the voice said.

“Thank you, I am sincerely sorry for all my wrong doings” he said.

“With a swish, like the magicians do;” Ronit saw the darkness surrounding him evaporating in thin air. White light of the clf tube glittered his eyes which brought him back to reality and he found himself standing in front of the mirror in the washroom.

The washroom door opened and Advocate Sharma entered, “Ronit you still here, hurry your hearing is next.” Sharma said.

Ronit dumbstruck with all that had transpired in his thoughts nodded in response. Sharma took the sink next to Ronit and rinsed his face, “I must say ragging has become an epidemic in our society” Sharma said.

Ronit looked at his reflection in the mirror.

“You ok” Sharma said, and taking out his handkerchief wiped his face dry, “we all are rooting for you, go and make an example of those perverts” Sharma added.

Ronit rinsed his face thrice and then dried it, “I am ready” he said.

“They think ragging is cool” Sharma said and opened the door to exit the washroom, “Ronit be the first and set such a precedent that raggers in the future think hundred times before they force another innocent victim to commit suicide” Sharma added before leaving.

Ronit smiled confidently at his reflection in the mirror and left the washroom. 

Many days had elapsed; Ronit had won the case and the four offenders had been sentenced to three years of jail term along with a fine of fifty thousand rupees each. They have been barred from joining any educational or government institute. The case had gained publicity which had elevated Ronit to be one of the famous lawyers of Jammu. His wife and son social status also increased. But all this fame, fanfare and recognition felt hollow to Ronit, something is missing, he thought.

The day was Sunday but Ronit had woken up at six o’clock like regular days. He went for his forty minutes walk followed that with twenty minutes of yoga; came back home had tea reading the morning newspaper. Sunila who sat opposite him sipping her tea couldn’t resist, “what’s the matter? You look very happy today.” 

He placed the newspaper aside, “A big burden is going to be lifted from my shoulder” he said.

“Care to elaborate” she said.

“Will tell you all at night, I promise” he said and looked at his watch, “I must get ready, need to reach somewhere” he added. Ronit got up from his chair was about to go when he stopped, “keep lunch and evening free” he added.

Sunila looked at him, “you made a plan?” she said.

“Today we will have lunch outside, you and Ajay decide the place. Then we will catch the new chota bhem movie” he said.

“Ajay will be very happy he wanted to see the movie since last week” she said.

Ronit parked his car outside a rusted gate of an old house. The locality was one of the oldest of the city. It had taken him fifteen days to get this address. From the information he had gathered Ronit was outside the house of his childhood friend Manohar Gupta aka Manu. Was the information correct?, he thought. “Only one way to find out” he said. He exited his car and pressed the bell beside the gate.

A plethora of emotions were running in his heart, but he could do nothing about it so he did the next best thing, he waited. The lanes were deserted only his car was visible from side to side. After about five minutes the inside door opened a man about his age came and stood on the passageway of the door. The man was balding and a little thin, but Ronit remembered those big innocent eyes.

Ronit opened the gate and walked towards the man standing at the door. Before the man could say or do anything Ronit fell on his feet, “please forgive me, Manu” he said.

“Who are you sir” Manu said.

His head still placed on Manu’s feet, “I am that coward who hurt you repeatedly just to cover his own ass” he said.

“Sir please get up, this is no way for a man of repute to behave” Manu said and got Ronit to his feet.

Ronit who stood good two feet above Manu and kept in shape looked the inferior one due to the weeping face and the slouched shoulders.

“Sir what is your name?” Manu said.

Keeping his eyes glued to the ground, “Ronit Choudary” he said.

Manu’s eyes lit up hearing the name, “my brother, my friend” he said and hugged Ronit, “it’s been such a long time” Manu added.

“I am so, so sorry” he said.

Manu kept reassuring him, “all is fine” Manu said.

“Minto and Soni used to humiliate me if I don’t rag you, they teased me that I am weak.” He said and paused his weeping for a second, “They used to beat me” He added.

Manu kept wiping the continuous downpour of Ronit tears with his hands.

“What all I did, threw your books, beat you, degraded you in front of others, Manu I am sorry, brother I am so very sorry” he said

Manu tried to placate him but to no avail.

“I did all this just to show them that I was one of them” he said, Ronit broke the embrace and folded his hands, “forgive me please brother”

Manu held Ronit’s face in his hand, “now no more weeping, you came to me on your own accord. All is forgotten brother” Manu said.

With his hands still folded, “please accept my friendship” he said.

Taking Ronit’s hands in his hand, “you were always my friend” Manu said.

Hearing those words a smile emerged on Ronit’s face and the two friends embraced each other, only this time Ronit held Manu into a bear hug. They stood like this on Manu’s foyer for some time. Then Ronit heard a squealing sound coming out of Manu’s mouth.  Ronit hugged him a little tighter in response, weep to your heart’s content brother, he thought.

Ronit sat in his car and started the ignition after two of hour’s heart to heart conversation during which Manu told him about his son who had gone to his maternal grandfather with his mother. And that Manu is the headmaster of same school where they had studied together. 

Ronit was happy that they had parted with the promise of meeting next time at Ronit’s residence on the occasion of diwali. Waving at his friend Manu, Ronit released the gear of the car with a whistle on his lips and went to his family who were waiting for their lunch and the new chota bhem movie.